Brokenhearted

I'm writing today with a broken heart and on the verge of tears.  It's a such a struggle to keep the tears at bay that my nose burns.

I found out last night that a high school classmate of mine passed away two-and-a-half years ago.

As most people do when they go off to college and start living their lives post-high school, they lose touch with their classmates.  I have kept up with some through Facebook, but not often enough...obviously, since I just heard the news.  I found out because the "other Jessica" in my class (there were only 2 Jessica's) posted on FB about the death of a classmate, and out of shock and curiosity, I asked her who it was.  When she responded, my shock could only be expressed through overwhelming tears.

Our class of '98 Homecoming Queen (30 years old) lost her battle with depression Thanksgiving 2009 leaving behind her husband and 3 small children.

I woke up Jared, told him, and just cried in his arms.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around how one of the most kind and energetic people I have ever met is no longer with us.  Its almost too much for my brain to comprehend.

Just like the majority of the adolescent age group, I was trying to find my way in high school.  I floated from group to group trying to fit in.  I wanted so badly to fit into the "popular" group.  Who doesn't? Honestly? I wanted to belong not just because they were popular, but because they were all so nice and kind, and knew what they wanted out of life.  They were great to be around, and accepted everyone.  This was the group she belonged in.

My heart breaks not only because she is gone, but also because how she left. 

Knowing her, I am sure she fought this mental disease as hard as she could.  I pray for her family, her husband, and, especially, her babies.  Even now, years later, I'm sure they need the strength that only our heavenly Father can provide.

I will always remember her adventurous heart, her humor, her humility, her strong faith, and her love for others. I wish she knew how much I admired her.  Maybe God can forward the message.

"Answer me quickly, LORD; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life." Psalm 143:7-8

Back at it!

This past summer was probably one of the most amazing times I've ever had simply because of one thing....or person.  My son.  Waking up every single morning and spending every minute with him was wonderful and life-changing.  The word "busy" doesn't even cover it.  Here is what happened this summer.

1. We went to Pawley's Island, SC for 2 weeks.  It was Cayden's first time playing with the sand and ocean. He also got his very first ear infection that trip.
2. We went thrift store shopping almost daily (Goodwill, Revive, Salvation Army, any one that we came across). I love thrifting...my sister and mom have had an effect on me.
3. Jared and I threw an engagement party for Whit and Lindley with a Pride and Prejudice theme.  I'll post pictures later. But it was for 50 people...yeah.
4. My sister got married to the love of her life in New York, then we just got back from Florida for the actual family wedding.
5. I taught a pottery camp for 4th-8th grade students.  It was insane. No one warned me that a full day camp with this age was probably not a good idea.  However, lesson learned. Half-day camps from here on out!
6. I took part of my yearbook staff to a 3 day intensive in July.  It was very informative.

Before I knew it, the eight weeks were gone.  It was one of those times where the saying "need a vacation from your vacation" came to mind when I went back to school August 2nd.

Now, I'm back at it.  Back to work.  Back to every day life where I'm juggling our home schedules with work schedules, figuring out budgets, insurance changes and when I'm going to paint, trying to find the motivation to workout and eat healthy....I'm exhausted.

I have to keep remembering and applying Philippians 4:13, "I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength." Also, if the Proverbs 31 woman can do it all, so can I.  I hope.

I have a lot of plans for this year, and I will do my best to keep you updated.  The first thing on the list is Cayden's 1st Birthday!! My little dinosaur is turning into a toddler.  I have waited to the very last minute to plan this thing...meaning the only thing I have done is send out the invitations.  Sheesh!

So....here we go! The life of a full-time working mom continues....